Poem of the Month: Clean Mouth

Clean Mouth

Can you pick up some mouth-wash on the way home? No, not that crap. Freshicle Max. No. Fresh-ick-le Max! Yeah. It’s pricier, but worth it … Well, no more snoring, for one. More importantly, my breath will jumpstart your bones. No joke. Freshicle patented these nanoparticles called Crysta-salves. Patented shit. I’m not totally clear on how they work, but basically they erase friction from brain to tongue, body to body, mind to mind, etc. They’re inspired by the skin of some extinct penguin. Totally organic. Yup, so better … Yeah, I didn’t know penguins could do it better than us either. I know, they’re so much more than cute … Sure, there are other products specifically for that. But C-salves also help you say what you mean, or help me say what I mean, which will conveniently be what you want to hear, and what you want me to want you to hear, and well, you get what I mean … Do those other pills do that? None of those at the pharmacy, at least. Oh, and they also help you smell threats miles away, like approaching meteors or shifts in particulates from forest fires. So really the stuff provides a survival advantage. Remind me to pack some in our Bonk Out bag. Oh, and Max lets you run on magnetic waves, so we’d shave a little off our food bill too …  Sweet. Thanks. Nope that’s all. Two point five will do, if the price is right, but two point seven, if you really want me to show you how much I can love you.

-Cyrus Philbrick

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